I'M Gaga for Google

Oct 15, 06:20 AM

Current Headlines: Google. How do I love thee _ and how do I hate thee and thy googlicious ways?

I Google everything _ breaking news, celebrity gossip, fashion blogs, song lyrics, people I meet, even myself (well, not very often). I love having access to so many videos, images, stories and Web pages and all so instantly.

No wonder the 9-year old Internet search engine has exploded into a billion-dollar monster. There are Google elements for chat, maps, video, finance, images, shopping, blogs, e-mail and more.

And, of course, it's habit-forming. I didn't realize just how addicted to Google I'd become until last weekend.

I'd never really faced more than a day without my precious Google. But I went to Phoenix. And I left my laptop behind. I thought it would be good to unplug for a few days. I have gone whole days without my cell phone. It caused slight withdrawal pangs, but I got through it. So I thought suppressing my Internet jones wouldn't be a big deal.

What did I know? Within hours of landing in Arizona, I was itching to Google: Where's the movie theater? What about a restaurant? How do we get to the Grand Canyon?

The thought of resorting to a phone book and maps felt so, I don't know, barbaric.

So maybe I've just become a lazy Internet junkie entirely too used to the convenience.

Fifteen minutes on the hotel's computer wasn't near enough time to check my e-mail, Facebook, MySpace, schedule my TiVo and Google everything I wanted to look up.

The good old phone book still works for little things. But it's just so boring. It just sits there. And it has nothing of Google's awesome power.

If I Google a restaurant I get more than a simple number and address. Online, I get reviews, prices, menus, images and detailed descriptions of meals. With Google, the possibilities are endless.

And I just can't stop it. I get to work and Google the most popular stories. At home on the couch, I hear a pretty song in a commercial, search the lyrics and bam! It's "How Can I Tell You," by Cat Power. A friend tells me about Beyonce taking a spill down some stairs, and within a moment I'm staring at videos and audience reports. If I want to learn how to do a ridiculous dance like the "Crank Dat Soulja Boy," Google's YouTube has dozens of how-to videos.

Google also gives me my e-mail lifeline: My Gmail account keeps track of all online conversations in an orderly fashion and has plenty of storage space. It lets me chat with friends and gives us the option of going on and off the record. Google is so courteous that way. It's the easiest way to plug into the world.

Things are so quick, so simple, so entertaining. I mean I'd like to unplug. I'd like to ditch the phones, the computers, television and search engines.

I just don't have the patience.

Maybe I'll find some on Google.

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(Jenee Osterheldt's column runs in FYI on Tuesday and Saturday. To reach her, call 816-234-4380 or e-mail josterheldt@kcstar.com.)

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