Ruth Bell Graham, Wife of Evangelist Billy Graham, Dies at 87

Jun 14, 06:30 PM

Current Headlines: CHARLOTTE, N.C. _ Ruth Bell Graham, a humble missionary's daughter who became the wife of the world's foremost evangelist yet shined outside his shadow in her own right, died Thursday at home in Montreat in the North Carolina mountains.

Graham was 87 when she died after several years of declining health spent mostly at the home she shared with her husband, evangelist Billy Graham.

Early plans called for a public memorial service in Montreat, then a private burial in Charlotte attended by family only.

"Ruth was my life partner, and we were called by God as a team," Graham said in a statement Thursday. "No one else could have borne the load that she carried. She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support.

"I am so grateful to the Lord that He gave me Ruth, and especially for these last few years we've had in the mountains together. We've rekindled the romance of our youth, and my love for her continued to grow deeper every day. I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven."

Graham announced this week that he and Ruth had decided to be buried side by side on the grounds of the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte.

She is survived by her husband, five children and 19 grandchildren. Describing her as a loyal wife, mother and grandmother doesn't embrace the essence of a creative, courageous woman.

She wrote poetry, evangelized for Christ to millions worldwide over the years and raised five children while Billy Graham was off preaching to the world. She was a constant counsel in his life, steering him away from partisan politics and balancing his natural-born seriousness with humor.

And in enduring with quiet grace the pain brought on by several hip-replacement procedures and other ailments late in life, Ruth Graham inspired her family as she inspired others.

"My father would not have been what he is today if it wasn't for my mother," said son Franklin, who now heads the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association in Charlotte. "She stood strong for what was biblically correct and accurate. She would help my father prepare his messages, listening with an attentive ear, and if she saw something that wasn't right or heard something that she felt wasn't as strong as it could be, she was a voice to strengthen this or eliminate that. Every person needs that kind of input in their life and she was that to my father."

Ill health prevented her from attending the dedication of the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte two weeks ago, but at the event she was hailed for her spirit and courage. The library, which tells the story of how Charlotte's most famous son became a world-famous evangelist, includes an exhibit on her.

"More than me," said her husband of 63 years, "she deserves to be here today."

Former President George Bush, a longtime family friend, became emotional when he came to her name in the final words of his speech. "God bless Billy and Ruth Graham," said Bush, his voice catching.

Billy Graham, 88, has been in declining health himself. He has symptoms of Parkinson's disease and is nearly deaf.

Ruth Graham's ill health and preference for privacy kept her out of the public eye for years.

At one of her last public appearances _ a 2000 benefit dinner in Asheville, N.C., marking her 80th birthday _ best-selling mystery writer and family friend Patricia Cornwell put her life into perspective.

"Her legacy is that she profoundly touched people's lives," said Cornwell, who befriended the Grahams as a child in Montreat and later wrote a biography of Ruth Graham.

"We live in a world where, if you're not touching lots and lots of people, you're not important. If everybody would do what Ruth has done, this would be a better place. She cared about her neighbor."

Ruth Graham put on a fancy gown and agreed to be fussed over by 300 loved ones and admirers that night in the Grand Ballroom of the Grove Park Inn for this reason: The $250-a-plate, black-tie dinner raised more than $2 million for the Ruth and Billy Graham Children's Health Center in Asheville.

Ruth McCue Bell was born on June 10, 1920, in a two-story gray brick house in Quingjang, China _ her parents were Presbyterian medical missionaries to China.

Her father, Dr. Nelson Bell, gave up a promising career as a baseball pitcher to become a doctor and move to China as chief surgeon for the hospital in Huaiyin for 25 years. Her mother, Virginia, tutored her in their home.

On a 1988 visit to the little town where she spent her first 17 years, Ruth Graham recalled the constant conflict between bandits and warlords, and how missionaries were seen as the enemy by some.

She reminisced about growing up there _ speaking English and Chinese, having her father read to her at night, even looking back fondly on the weekly bath in an old, tin tub. She returned to the United States in 1941 to attend Wheaton College, an evangelical Christian institution near Chicago. One date with a tall, thin farmer's boy from Charlotte turned her head and changed her life.

A timid Billy Graham got up the nerve to take her to a Sunday afternoon production of Handel's "Messiah" _ the first step of a romance.

"You could see Christ coming out of her face in the expression she had," Graham recalled, admitting that he didn't dare hold her hand on that first date.

In his autobiography, "Just As I Am," Billy Graham wrote of the letter from the love of his life, postmarked July 6, 1941, in which she accepted his marriage proposal. "After I went to bed," he wrote, "I switched my little lamp on and off all night, rereading that letter probably another dozen times."

The missionary's daughter was just as smitten, as she expressed in "Never Let It End: Poems of a Lifelong Love":

"I'd dreamt of shoulders broad and straight, one built to lead; I met you once and knew that you were all I need."

Billy and Ruth Graham were married on Aug. 13, 1943, at Montreat Presbyterian Church, in the town where her parents had retired. With the $75 he saved for the honeymoon, they traveled to nearby Blowing Rock.

Their union began a partnership that endured worldwide evangelism, adulation, politics and, perhaps most challenging of all, distance.

From his first days traveling with Youth for Christ, the Grahams were comfortable with their roles. He would crisscross the world for Christ; she'd remain at home in Montreat, raising what grew to be a family of five children _ Virginia, Anne, Ruth, Franklin and Ned.

It wasn't easy.

In "Footprints of a Pilgrim: The Life and Loves of Ruth Bell Graham," she reminisced about sleeping with Billy's tweed jacket during the nights he was off saving souls.

The familiar story told by various Grahams is how Ruth Graham had had it up to here one day trying to discipline born-to-be-wild Franklin _ so she locked him in the trunk of her car as they went through the fast-food window in Asheville.

Franklin Graham recalled: "The waitress was shocked when she saw Mama open the trunk and hand me my food."

A father's absence was hard on everyone: Billy Graham recalls the time Franklin spotted his parents in bed and asked Ruth Graham, "Mama, who is that in bed with you?"

Another joke that became part of family lore _ she never thought about divorce, Ruth Graham joked to audiences, but murder did cross her mind a time or two.

Then there was the story about her legendary stoicism in the face of illness _ especially when compared with a husband who felt every ache and pain. Loved ones would joke that when he died, Billy would have carved on his tombstone, "I told you so." When Ruth died, her tombstone would declare, "Never felt better."

Stay-at-home mother _ and resident wit _ was only a part of her contribution to the family and her legacy to the world.

It was Ruth Graham whose books about sharing Christ sold thousands of copies _ "One Wintry Night," an illustrated children's book, for example, and "Never Let It End," whose cover features a portrait of the Grahams on their wedding day.

It was Ruth Graham who shared her husband's platform _ sharing tea and conversation with kings and queens and answering reporters' questions before her husband's crusades invariably commanded a city's attention.

It was Ruth Graham who counseled her husband to steer clear of politics so as not to narrow his ministry.

During the Democratic National Convention in 1964, President Lyndon Johnson sought Graham's advice on whom he might choose as a running mate.

Before Graham could answer, Ruth Graham kicked him under the table and said, "You are supposed to limit your advice to moral and spiritual issues and stay out of politics."

Rice University sociology professor William Martin of Houston, who chronicled Graham's life in the 1991 biography, "A Prophet With Honor," recalled Ruth Graham's response when someone suggested her husband run for president:

"She said, `I don't think the country's ready for a divorced president.'"

Most of all, said Martin, it was Ruth Graham who raised five children largely on her own, infusing in each of them the independent spirit that marked her life.

"She was the proud parent," Martin said.

Those who know her best, though, will think first of her quiet courage when they think of Ruth Graham.

Chronic back pain brought on by several hip replacements left her in pain, then in a wheelchair or bed. Bacterial spinal meningitis in March 1996 nearly killed her. Out of the limelight in recent years, family and friends describe a wisp of a woman.

And yet, loved ones say, she rarely complained.

She simply soldiered on with resilience, said biographer Martin.

Evangelist Anne Graham Lotz, of Raleigh, N.C., recalled the day in 2000 that her frail mother struggled to put on her jewelry and makeup to welcome Billy Graham home from his doctor's appointment at the Mayo Clinic.

Beyond all the acclaim that followed them all the days of their public life together, that is the picture of Billy and Ruth Graham their loved ones will cling to.

A husband and wife of faith.

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RUTH BELL GRAHAM

Born: June 10, 1920, in Tsingkiangpu, China.

Married: Aug. 13, 1943, in Montreat (near Asheville) to evangelist Billy Graham.

Family: Five children _ Virginia (nicknamed Gigi), Anne, Ruth, Franklin and Ned; 19 grandchildren; numerous great-grandchildren.

Home: A log home on a clearing in Montreat, about 100 miles northwest of Charlotte. There, the Grahams would sit beside one another in their den, reading or watching television together late in their lives. "The nicest time of day for us is after supper," she once said. "We go on the porch and sit in the rockers and watch the night fall over the valley. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't."

Her work: An accomplished poet and writer, among her books is "Footprints of a Pilgrim: The Life and Loves of Ruth Bell Graham" and "Never Let it End: Poems of a Lifelong Love."

Quote: "Dear God," she wrote in a poem, "let me soar in the face of the wind; up _ up _ like the lark, so poised and so sure, through the cold on the storm with wings to endure. Let the silver rain wash all the dust from my wings, let me soar as he soars, let me sing as he sings, let it lift me all joyous and carefree and swift, let if buffet and drive me but, God, Let it lift!"

_Ken Garfield

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(c) 2007, The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.).

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